Nothing Personal

25th Jan '11

Relationships these days are anything but personal. We have complicated romantic relationships to the extent where we ourselves don't know whether we actually love a person or not. Most interestingly I realized that in today's world 'dating', 'in a relationship', 'committed' and 'married' are four entirely different things that you can be in with four different people. To top it all you don't have to be 'in love' to be in any of these four.

Having a lot of choices is good but it can get really confusing for our already confused generation. When it comes to shopping or jobs, choices are good but still confusing. But in relationships choices can be dangerous. Where do you draw the line emotionally as well as physically?

Being with someone in close proximity has it's emotional burdens. Dating involves meeting many people and getting to know them personally. Once they like each other they come together physically too. Where do we draw the line? Being with someone, romantically involved, is a personal thing. And these days having a girlfriend or a boyfriend is considered 'cool'. The first thing one does after getting into a relationship is change their status in their facebook profiles.

I think having someone special in your life can happen just once. Being in love is an intimate feeling that you cannot have with every person you spend some time with. Love is a feeling that grows with time and one cannot outgrow from.

I personally think that being involved with too many people weakens you emotionally. Giving your all to someone and then coming out of the relation then getting into a relation with someone else. How can these private and personal feelings shift and change from person to person?

There is nothing personal any more. Even the moments that one spends with the one they love. Why do people have to show that they love someone to the whole world? Does it really matter? I don't think so. Once you share these moments they don't remain special anymore. Having someone special in life is a very personal thing and should remain so.

Beyond Boundaries

19th Jan '11

Another earthquake struck yesterday night at the Pakistan-Afghanistan border. It was 7.4 at the richter scale. I still remember the earthquake in POK which came in Oct of 2008 or the Tsunami which came in 2004. Natural disasters cause lot of damage to life and property. They span over thousands of kilometers and leave traces of destruction. Yesterdays quake woke people up here in Delhi itself.

What I make of such events is not the destruction but a hidden meaning which they want us to find. There's a song from the movie 'Refugee', "Panchi, nadiyan, hawa ke jhonke, koi sarhad na inhe roke." It threw light on the fact that borders are created by the people themselves. We create divisions among ourselves and then fight when they have been violated. God just made the world, we created divisions. He made everyone the same, we want to be different.

But in times when a disaster strikes can you really tell it to stop at the border? The Tsunami of 2004 affected seven countries. The earthquake of 2008 led to damages in Pakistan, Afghanistan as well as India. That was the time when it really struck. Pakistan and India are countries that don't let one man step on the others territory without permission. How could you ever tell an earthquake to remain on the other side of the border because it's epicenter was there?

Not only in our countries but it is very sad to say that we have created strong borders within the country also. Recently there was a big dispute in Maharashtra where the members of the Shiv Sena demanded all non-Maharshtrians to leave the state. The situation was so bad that a few people did flee the state they had been living in for years.

A distinction is somewhere necessary so that we have a sense of what we own and what is owned by others. But the cause should always be greater. There's a thought that I read and it is mostly said in the Army, "A man should first be there for his country then for himself." Even in the movie 'Chak De India' Shahrukh as the coach said, "Pehle apni team ke liye khelo, fir apne sathiyon ke liye aur fir apne liye."

There are also times when we feel connected to the whole world at one time and feel as if there are no barriers. It was the time when I saw the opening ceremony of the Football World Cup. An estimated 80 million people watched the show. Just the fact that I am watching something that people all over the world are watching at the same time made me feel connected to the whole world. I felt how similar we are to everyone. We can always find common points in cultures across the world. There are sayings, way of education, sports, music that connect us. An age old saying that parents tell their children in India, "Paise pedh pe nahi ugte," I heard it in an episode of a show called 'Full house', "Money does not grow on trees," which was aired somewhere in 1990's.

Watching movies or shows from all over the world also opens up your horizon and makes you realize how similar people the world over are. But this bigger truth is hidden in the want of being different. In the want of having something to oneself. We don't want to share anything not realizing that in the end we are going to leave everything that we own on this earth itself. One more thought that I would like to add here "Our similarities keep us together, our differences make us special." Celebrate the differences and cherish the similarities there is nothing that is going to stay forever.

The Void

17th January '11

"We become aware of the void as we fill it." I was thinking for a long time that it is said that the value of a thing is seldom known until it be lost but it is also true that when we receive something we realize what we lacked. These things are mainly something good. A feeling never known before, a happiness never experienced before, something that makes you realize you lacked somewhere.

The experiences of life are to be remembered and learned from. Of all the experiences we cherish the good ones and learn from the bad ones. Then comes a time in you life when you experience something that you've never experienced before and you suddenly feel elated. Something that makes you happy. You were happy before but this new feeling gives pure bliss.

It can be the experience of a new job, working in an environment you like. It can be a person who makes you feel special, different. It can be a place that makes you feel welcomed. Anything that brings out a new feeling and a all new you.

We go through monotonous lives. Doing the same things everyday. The same schedule, meet the same people, live in the same house and work in the same office. Therefore when something different comes, that too good, we feel all new and happy. Nothing else can compare to the new feeling of elation and we want it to remain for a long time, as long as it can stay.

The void that is there in our lives lies dormant till someone or something fills it. Then we know that there indeed exists something which can make us complete. Nobody these days is satisfied with their lives. People may be happy but satisfaction is hard to find. We always want more than we have. Our dreams never end. That is human tendency but there has to be a point when you feel complete, satisfied with what you have achieved or what you have earned.

Happiness is a state of mind. You have to believe that you are happy. But the feeling of satisfaction or being complete can come with a little help of an outside force. When we allow something or someone to touch our life like no one has done before. Some find this force early and some may take longer. But when it comes you have to recognize and appreciate it. And the void will fill by itself.

Love the heart that hurts you but never hurt the heart that loves you because for the world you may be someone but for someone you might mean the world.

The only people we really hurt are those we love best.

Love does not claim possession but gives freedom.

“I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.”

“True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells get your ears checked.”

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

If you do not change with time you will be left behind.

Hope for the best and be ready for the worst.

Don’t worry about the past, do the best today for a better tomorrow.

God allows life to rocky. His challenge is not to let the rocks grind you but to polish you into a brilliant gem. Be precious.

Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change.

Everyone can fight but it’s our wits that make us men.

The true measure of a man’s success is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Always do right. This will gratify some and astonish others.

Difficulties are meant to rouse not discourage.

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to happiness.

Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a friend?

Best friends are siblings God forgot to give us.

Best friends don’t necessarily have to say anything, they can sit in a room together and just be completely comfortable with each other.