New Dreams???

17th Oct '10

As I talked to one of my college friends today I had a realization. What I wanted three years ago, or lets say just a year ago, was quite different than what I want now. My dream of becoming a director or writer has shriveled quite a bit and I have become more accepting to the changes and situations I face in life. Can I say this is maturity? Or is it just adjusting and accepting the things that I cannot change?

In college, while doing my Bachelor's, I had a distinct dream or say a plan in mind. I had thought quite clearly that when I pass my college I will get a job and I would be settled in a sense. I did pass my college and end up in a job but I also left it after a year and joined another college for my Masters. But now when I sit to think of it I really don't know which way my life is heading.

Very clearly my plan of life did not materialize. I may have made mistakes and taken some wrong decisions in life but they made me what I am today and I do not regret even a bit of it. But now I know things work out on their own and we might end up doing things we never thought of. In fact I have ended up doing what I thought I would never do! Maybe this is the case with me or a few other people my age. Or can I say this happens with most people in their youth?

Things don't always turn out the way we think nor do we achieve all our dreams. With time our dreams may change and it's okay to make mistakes. Youth has the liberty to make mistakes and learn what is wrong and right early on. I cannot afford to make choices in my career after 25 but I can right now at 22. We do have the time and the privilege to try out different things and see what works for us and what doesn't work for us both in the professional and personal fronts.

We normally go according to our parents wishes till we are in school. In college too some agree to what their parents have thought they should do. But there comes a time in everyone's life when they are confused with whatever is going on with their lives either professionally or personally. That time may come early for some and a little later for others. Don't we all go through phases when we ask ourselves where are we heading? What will we be doing after five years?

Youth is a time to get confused, ask questions to oneself, make mistakes and learn to choose the right direction in life. It is a time of trial and error. To decide what works for you, where are you comfortable. I am in a phase where I am struggling both professionally as well as personally. No matter how much friends argue or agree I have to make my own decisions in life. I have to choose the way I have to move on for the years to come. I have no specific plan in mind as I want to live without regrets.

I want to make my own mistakes and learn from them. I want to live my own life, try and fail and then prevail. I don't have to live up to other's expectations but my own. I am no longer a child who goes on the path she is taken on by her parents. I am an individual who can now live her own life in her way without explaining why.